I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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