Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
