on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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