i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
