I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
