just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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