Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
