She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
