No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Randomize
