2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize