For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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