I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
