If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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