Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
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