thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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