If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize