So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
