you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize