im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
