I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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