Duck Duck Cougar?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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