just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
