so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
