My first STD was from a foam party
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Randomize