Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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