I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
