Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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