heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
