Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she peed on how many people?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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