She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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