You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
