He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
