i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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