Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
