Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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