I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
