Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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