So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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