im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
