I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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