We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
