Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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