anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
