K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
