my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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