it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
