literally had 100 drinks last night.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Mom said you looked used
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
