Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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