You work out of a Hotel?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i am craving dick and cupcakes
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
