this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
