I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
