dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
