so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Houston, we have a squirter
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Oh god it's open bar.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize