If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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