Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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