well you can't waste a boner
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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