I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
