He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize