Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
