i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
