Don't you send me to vm
We won't sleep together?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
whose ass print is on the piano?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
